STRESSES IN CHILD’S LIFE: BLENDED FAMILIES

Remarriage can have positive or negative effects for the child. Sometimes it restores a stable, two-parent environment with all its attendant benefits, especially a sense of normality. It also brings with it new stresses and problems. Some children feel a sense of disloyalty if they allow themselves to develop a close relationship with a new step-parent. There is often jealousy as new relationships are established between adults and children — children and parents (both biological and step-parents) can all feel awkward and ambivalent about this. Issues raised by differing parenting styles are inevitable, and expectations and established routines alter. Sometimes privacy and boundaries are issues, especially for older children and adolescents. If there are children of similar ages in both families, competition may cause tensions in the household.

There are no easy answers to the many potential difficulties, some major and others apparently trivial but nonetheless important, that accompany the blending of two families. A sense of humour helps, along with a commitment to respect individual needs and styles of doing things. Sometimes family therapy may help to clarify issues and suggest strategies for resolving problems.

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