GAMES FOR OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE COUPLES – SEXUAL ARENA

This ritual goes on and on in the play, as it does in the real-life relationships of many couples, without resolution, and leads to constant discord that sometimes drives one (or both) into a frenzy. With respect to couples who are lovers, it even pervades the sexual arena: Control freaks want “managed sex,” keeping it immaculate, keeping it tame, keeping it from getting out of control, robbing it of passion. They manage it by refusing to surrender to orgasm (which is regarded as loss of self-control), keeping their feelings under check by numbing their body, and insisting on washing their hands (not to mention other parts of their bodies) several times before and after having sex. They cannot stand for the seeds or juices that evolve during reproduction to linger on their bodies for long, nor for the smell to perfume themselves, their lovers, or the bedroom. On the other hand, slobs want “sabotaged sex.” Acting defiantly slovenly and uncooperative in bed, they defeat their partner through sloth. They revel in the seeds and juices, wallow in the sweat, and delight in the smell of sex— not in a childlike, healthy way but in a gloating, provocative fashion.

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