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GAMES FOR HYSTERICAL COUPLES – GAME 4: REVERSE HEADACHE (PART 4)

on April 9th, 2009 by admin

Eventually, if the husband can stay with it to the point where he becomes a nuisance, claiming to have a headache whenever the wife asks for anything, she will become upset. When she becomes so upset that she’ll try anything to get him to stop (even going so far as to offer to have sex with him if he will relent about something he has been refusing to do), he has “won” the game. Having broken through her own resistance, she will now have a new respect for him and will experience sex with him quite differently.

“You bastard! You really think you’re clever, don’t you?” she may say as they are writhing on the bed.

“Perhaps a little.”

“Admit it—you’ve just been mimicking me all along.”

“Maybe.”

“Maybe?”

“Shut up and kiss me.” “Anything you say, dear.”

Only after he has sexually gorged himself—and her— should the husband confess that he has been playing a game with her, by way of retaliation. The wife may be ready now to confess that she had long been playing the same game in order to gain satisfaction through continually frustrating him. The husband will confess that he had become so angry at his wife that at times he wanted to strangle her, and that playing this game gave him an immense amount of substitute satisfaction. She will no longer be stuck in the hysterical/sadistic mode—and he no longer in the passive/masochistic mode. She may be resentful for a while at having her hysterical defense thus mirrored, but eventually the game will lead to a discussion (and perhaps to negotiation) by two increasingly respectful adults—and thus to a more mutually gratifying relationship.

*99/196/1*

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